Guest Feature: Mary's Journey to Women's Lunch Place

*The portrait above, taken by Nancy Schieffelin, is not of Mary.

Mary’s addiction caused her to exhaust every resource and personal connection she had. After two decades of struggling with alcoholism, she began working with a Women’s Lunch Place advocate to improve her health, career, and living situation. 

Thirty-seven percent of guests self-report experiences with drug and alcohol use disorders, and research indicates that the actual percentage is significantly higher. To meet this need, our Direct Care and Advocacy staff are specifically trained to assess and work with women, like Mary, who are battling addiction.

Mary’s dependence began in the late 1990s, when she was laid off from her job in New York City’s thriving publishing industry. After moving to Massachusetts to be nearer to her sick mother, her life started to unravel.

Mary experienced––in order––the death of her mother, estrangement from her family, a paralyzing nerve injury, and two years of physical therapy, which bankrupted her. Her addiction added fuel to the fire, quickly scaling up from light, social drinking to full-on dependency.

From that point forward, each time Mary forged new relationships––professional, social, or otherwise––her addiction would eventually push them away. It was only after a decade of drinking that she found herself in a hotel-conversion shelter.

“What I learned at that shelter was that on Christmas and Thanksgiving, people had families to go to,” says Mary. “You think the homeless have no families, but they do. That made me really sad… because I had no family to go to.”

“The loss of support networks can be detrimental during the addiction cycle,” says Rachel Klein, Shelter Manager at WLP. “The importance of consistent support–– provided by trained staff at a low-barrier shelter––cannot be overstated.”

Even in the worst of times to come, Mary would count on alcohol to cope with her losses and unlock euphoric recall. She drank to feel regal and important, as though she were still living a high-powered, white-collar life.

In 2012, Mary received a lifeline in the form of an inheritance. She used the funds to start fresh––renting a home, joining a new church, and setting out to write a novel.

Still, her addiction remained. Each day, she would write from morning until afternoon, go to the beach, and wind up drinking the evening away.

Eventually, she could no longer pay for housing. Mary’s alcoholism caused her to lose her apartment, job, and car. After a brief period living with church members, she once again found herself in an overnight shelter in Boston. During one of her first nights, all of Mary’s possessions were stolen.

The next morning, she discovered Women’s Lunch Place.

“I only had one set of clothing,” says Mary, describing her first experience at WLP. “The staff were very gentle. Very sweet. They acknowledged the trauma that I was experiencing.

One thing about Women’s Lunch Place is that they notice everything. I left that day with a bag full of clean clothing. I’d had a shower. I’d eaten. They even asked me if I needed shoes. I didn’t believe that anyone gave away shoes!”

Mary leveraged the momentum from her first few visits to WLP and reconnected with a friend from her former church, who offered a free room in her home. Two years later, the friend asked her to leave, as Mary’s drinking had yet to subside.

Again, Mary wound up at the same overnight shelter in Boston. Having run completely out of resources, she took a realistic look at her circumstances. This time, she knew where to turn for help.

“Walking into WLP was like walking into an oasis of safety. A place where people are trained in assessing your emotional and your physical state; where people greet you with kindness, remember your name, and do what they can to meet your needs. The staff are not only compassionate and willing to help you, they actually can help you.”

At WLP, Mary was able to enjoy healthy meals, take a shower, and work one-on-one with an advocate to start the journey to wellness and self-sufficiency.

When she was ready, she interviewed with confidence (and new clothing) and recently secured a full-time job. Perhaps most crucially, her advocate connected Mary to a faith-based sober house, where she currently resides.

To support the dignity-focused work of Women’s Lunch Place and ensure that women like Mary always have a place to turn, click here.